Saturday, June 6, 2009

Various musings on the opposite sex

No girl wants the perfect guy. If you give her her idea of the perfect guy, if you embody it in the way you act towards her and treat her, it will instantly cease to become the perfect guy to her. She will crave something else as soon as she has what she thought she wanted all along. If you treat her like a queen all the time, she will feel unimportant, complacent. She will lash out for a drama, for a good fight. If you resist this fight, it will only fuel her feelings of contempt or dissatisfaction for you. Nice guys so often finish last.

Unwilling to treat her like dirt, wishing only to give her your best, she will grow bored. She will move on to the next jackass in line who’s more than willing to fuck with her head, and then probably fuck her in your stead, while you’re stuck prowling the sidelines alone, wondering what could have been had you just been lucky enough to more instinctively be an asshole.

Girls don’t want flowers. They don’t want romantic dinners and they sure as hell don’t want you to write a song about them. That’s too straightforward and simple – too honest. The fun is in the hunt, they say. When you are just barely out of reach, the prospect of having you consumes her, burns in her heart and courses through her veins. She envisions being able to obtain you all for herself, and she won’t stop chasing you until she gets you.

Some have it lucky enough that they are able to lure men in with this sort of behavior without much resistance, lucky enough that their feelings of longing and desire are reciprocated in full. But this is far too convenient, far too easy and coincidental. The boat must be rocked. Once she has you ensnared in her trap, she no longer wants you. Even if you fulfill all of her desires, she will create new ones you can’t satisfy.

Part of it is a fear of trusting, being genuinely understood and accepted. But a larger part of it is a fear of being satisfied with what you have – a more subconscious and more powerful fear, a fear of actually being content with someone, a fear of not needing anything else or not searching for some abstract idealization of a “perfect” man.

If a man had his way, the game would be over much earlier. The game is fun when getting to know her, but then he’d like to drop the whole charade and enjoy the beautiful company of the other. Girls are bloodthirsty. The chase is so glamorous and exhilarating that suddenly the overall goal of the chase starts to pale in comparison. Suddenly she wants to fill the void with more and more chases with equally gullible men. They’re not in it for the goal like you are – just the journey to it.

Then they regard you as the odd one for not growing bored so quickly, for actually wanting to see a potential relationship through. They make you feel like you’re in the wrong for being satisfied with what you have. For genuinely wondering how her day was, for wanting to know her plans for the weekend, for trying to get to know her just like you had assumed she’d wanted. Then the rug is yanked out from under you and you find her laying it out again for the newest flavor.